Check The Calendar, Ladies: It's Your Turn To Propose
BY JANE RIDLEY AND ELOISE PARKER (New York Daily)
Like the Summer Olympics, the soccer World Cup and the presidential election, Friday's date - Feb. 29 - occurs just once every four years.
And for at least one unsuspecting guy living in New York City, it's going to be a helluva day to remember.
His girlfriend - let's call her Miss X - is taking advantage of an ancient leap year custom by bucking tradition and asking him to marry her.
"I thought it would be fun to pop the question in the Daily News," says Miss X, whose identity will be revealed in an exclusive photograph and news story in Friday's paper. "I'm nervous and excited at the same time."
The pretty New Yorker is following in the footsteps of countless brave women who seized the initiative, exerting their right to propose on the elusive leap day.
According to legend, the custom began in the fifth century when St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, that girls had to wait too long for men to propose.
He agreed, the story has it, that they could turn the tables on this one day.
In 1288, Scotland passed a law allowing women to propose to the man of their choice during leap year. If he declined, he had to pay a fine, ranging from a kiss to a consolation prize of a silk dress or pair of gloves.
On this side of the pond, a similar tradition was dubbed Sadie Hawkins Day, named after a spinster in Al Capp's comic strip "Li'l Abner" who was permitted to race after the eligible bachelors of the town of Dogpatch and march whichever one she caught down the aisle.
The other women of Dogpatch thought it was such a great idea, it became an annual event in November and inspired feminist-themed high-school dances, now more commonly held around Valentine's Day.
Lori Woliner, who runs an early-childhood center in the Bronx, took a leaf out of Sadie Hawkins' book when she proposed to her childhood sweetheart.
The 50-year-old mother of three met her husband, Alan, 52, at a social event at their synagogue when she was 13 and he was 15.
They dated for six years before rooming together at college in Oswego, N.Y.
"One week after I moved upstate to be with him, I said to Alan: 'I would love to write home to my family and tell them we're engaged,'" recalls Lori. "I'm a very determined person, and if I want something, I will go after it.
"Somebody had to move the relationship along, because Alan would have been content to leave things as they were."
The couple, who now live in Pelham, N.Y., married a year after Lori's proposal and will celebrate their 31st anniversary on June 5.
Like the Summer Olympics, the soccer World Cup and the presidential election, Friday's date - Feb. 29 - occurs just once every four years.
And for at least one unsuspecting guy living in New York City, it's going to be a helluva day to remember.
His girlfriend - let's call her Miss X - is taking advantage of an ancient leap year custom by bucking tradition and asking him to marry her.
"I thought it would be fun to pop the question in the Daily News," says Miss X, whose identity will be revealed in an exclusive photograph and news story in Friday's paper. "I'm nervous and excited at the same time."
The pretty New Yorker is following in the footsteps of countless brave women who seized the initiative, exerting their right to propose on the elusive leap day.
According to legend, the custom began in the fifth century when St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, that girls had to wait too long for men to propose.
He agreed, the story has it, that they could turn the tables on this one day.
In 1288, Scotland passed a law allowing women to propose to the man of their choice during leap year. If he declined, he had to pay a fine, ranging from a kiss to a consolation prize of a silk dress or pair of gloves.
On this side of the pond, a similar tradition was dubbed Sadie Hawkins Day, named after a spinster in Al Capp's comic strip "Li'l Abner" who was permitted to race after the eligible bachelors of the town of Dogpatch and march whichever one she caught down the aisle.
The other women of Dogpatch thought it was such a great idea, it became an annual event in November and inspired feminist-themed high-school dances, now more commonly held around Valentine's Day.
Lori Woliner, who runs an early-childhood center in the Bronx, took a leaf out of Sadie Hawkins' book when she proposed to her childhood sweetheart.
The 50-year-old mother of three met her husband, Alan, 52, at a social event at their synagogue when she was 13 and he was 15.
They dated for six years before rooming together at college in Oswego, N.Y.
"One week after I moved upstate to be with him, I said to Alan: 'I would love to write home to my family and tell them we're engaged,'" recalls Lori. "I'm a very determined person, and if I want something, I will go after it.
"Somebody had to move the relationship along, because Alan would have been content to leave things as they were."
The couple, who now live in Pelham, N.Y., married a year after Lori's proposal and will celebrate their 31st anniversary on June 5.
Jennifer Silvia, 31, married to Dan McClure two weeks ago, likewise took the lead.
"We decided to enter a raffle for a holiday, and I said, 'If we won, it could be our honeymoon,'" recalls Jennifer, a psychotherapist. The two were married on top of the Empire State Building in a Feb. 14 ceremony arranged by Brides.com.
"We'd only talked about marriage in a pretty general way until then, and although we didn't win the raffle, Dan's smile when I mentioned the honeymoon got me thinking," she says.
"As we walked back through the park, I threw Dan down on the grass and said, 'So are you going to marry me or what?' He laughed, and I wouldn't let him get up until he gave me an answer!"
To her relief, Dan, 34, a video-game designer who met Jennifer through a dating Web site, said "yes," and the two have set up home in Brockton, Mass.
"It's a trend we're seeing more and more," says Anna Pezik, editor of Brides.com. "It's more socially acceptable now.
"Traditionally, the male was the provider, but we're living in an era when a woman is running for President and women are much more independent. Men drag their feet sometimes, and women don't always want to wait.
"This way, she gets to choose when and where it happens."
In fact, it's becoming so common, one resourceful online company, GreetingCardUniverse.com,has plugged a hole in the market by producing leap year proposal cards.
New York City psychologist Diana Kirschner believes women in our area are more likely than those in less competitive parts of America to seize the opportunity to propose.
"Most people in NYC are in pursuit of their dreams, so there is less attention paid, particularly by men, to settling down," she says.
"Over time, as women get older, they worry about finding the right guy, and this may prompt them to do the asking. "There is less of a stigma, because so many women are lobbying for marriage. It's more likely to be the go-getting, astute Type A personalities with a more developed masculine side.
"If they put themselves on the line, however, they will expect a grand, romantic gesture in return - like a beautiful engagement ring."
Kirschner explains that the best way for women to propose is through humor and teasing.
"They tend to test the water by joking about having 12 kids together as a prequel to a more serious talk," she adds. "The subject usually needs to be 'out there' first, before they take the risk."
Indeed, one New Yorker has a cautionary tale for any woman considering popping the question tomorrow.
Christina, a fortysomething systems analyst from Battery Park City who does not want her full name published, was relaxing in a bar with her boyfriend, whom she'd met at work. She was convinced he could be her life partner following a recent, blissful vacation overseas.
She recalls: "We were chatting and laughing like we normally did, and on impulse I said, 'Why don't we get married?'"
"He went bright red, started sweating and whispered, "I can't, I'm married already!'"
"We decided to enter a raffle for a holiday, and I said, 'If we won, it could be our honeymoon,'" recalls Jennifer, a psychotherapist. The two were married on top of the Empire State Building in a Feb. 14 ceremony arranged by Brides.com.
"We'd only talked about marriage in a pretty general way until then, and although we didn't win the raffle, Dan's smile when I mentioned the honeymoon got me thinking," she says.
"As we walked back through the park, I threw Dan down on the grass and said, 'So are you going to marry me or what?' He laughed, and I wouldn't let him get up until he gave me an answer!"
To her relief, Dan, 34, a video-game designer who met Jennifer through a dating Web site, said "yes," and the two have set up home in Brockton, Mass.
"It's a trend we're seeing more and more," says Anna Pezik, editor of Brides.com. "It's more socially acceptable now.
"Traditionally, the male was the provider, but we're living in an era when a woman is running for President and women are much more independent. Men drag their feet sometimes, and women don't always want to wait.
"This way, she gets to choose when and where it happens."
In fact, it's becoming so common, one resourceful online company, GreetingCardUniverse.com,has plugged a hole in the market by producing leap year proposal cards.
New York City psychologist Diana Kirschner believes women in our area are more likely than those in less competitive parts of America to seize the opportunity to propose.
"Most people in NYC are in pursuit of their dreams, so there is less attention paid, particularly by men, to settling down," she says.
"Over time, as women get older, they worry about finding the right guy, and this may prompt them to do the asking. "There is less of a stigma, because so many women are lobbying for marriage. It's more likely to be the go-getting, astute Type A personalities with a more developed masculine side.
"If they put themselves on the line, however, they will expect a grand, romantic gesture in return - like a beautiful engagement ring."
Kirschner explains that the best way for women to propose is through humor and teasing.
"They tend to test the water by joking about having 12 kids together as a prequel to a more serious talk," she adds. "The subject usually needs to be 'out there' first, before they take the risk."
Indeed, one New Yorker has a cautionary tale for any woman considering popping the question tomorrow.
Christina, a fortysomething systems analyst from Battery Park City who does not want her full name published, was relaxing in a bar with her boyfriend, whom she'd met at work. She was convinced he could be her life partner following a recent, blissful vacation overseas.
She recalls: "We were chatting and laughing like we normally did, and on impulse I said, 'Why don't we get married?'"
"He went bright red, started sweating and whispered, "I can't, I'm married already!'"
Wisely, she threw her drink in his face and dumped him on the spot.
The do's and don'ts of proposing to your man, from Brides.com
DON'T pop the question if you're uncertain about the relationship.
DON'T surprise him in front of his friends or family.
DON'T wait till the end of a long, alcohol-fueled night out.
DON'T wear a wedding dress for extra effect.
DON'T present yourself with a big diamond ring and leave him empty-handed.
DO already have a good idea he'll say "yes."
DO be sure he won't be upset about not getting his chance to propose to you.
DO personalize your proposal - use words he'll really connect with.
The do's and don'ts of proposing to your man, from Brides.com
DON'T pop the question if you're uncertain about the relationship.
DON'T surprise him in front of his friends or family.
DON'T wait till the end of a long, alcohol-fueled night out.
DON'T wear a wedding dress for extra effect.
DON'T present yourself with a big diamond ring and leave him empty-handed.
DO already have a good idea he'll say "yes."
DO be sure he won't be upset about not getting his chance to propose to you.
DO personalize your proposal - use words he'll really connect with.
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